BLOG.RALPHKENDRICK.COM: When Other Things Get in the Way

When Other Things Get in the Way

Do you remember when you were 18? I used to play tennis in flip-flops and had the energy to compose all night, get an hour or two of sleep, then throw on a stocking cap and go to class. I used to think I was invincible.

That was then, this is now.

In early 2009, I decided to get back into shape. I began running – first alternating running and walking – then eventually progressing to where I could run up to two or three miles with relative ease. I was feeling good, and in some ways, acting like I was 18 again.

18 year olds don’t need to stretch...right?

In late May of that year, I began having some pain in my hamstring, so I began doing some light stretching before and after running. But it didn’t really help. Being of stubborn German stock, I continued running, thinking the pain would work itself out. That was a big mistake.

I wised up a week later, but it was too late. As I write this blog today, nearly a year and a half later, I still feel pain in this hamstring, and I can’t really sit in the same spot for longer than an hour. The lower back on that same side has been a real joy to deal with as well.

Sometimes I wake up, and feel like I’m 70 years old.

Through trial and error, and a lot of research, I’ve found a series of herbs and stretching exercises that allow me to get through the day relatively pain free. These stretches work for the most part, but they are time consuming and they're adversely affecting the other activities I like to do. Another side effect of this condition, is that I now require 8 hours of sleep a night, where I used to get by comfortably with 5 or 6.

As I’ve indicated before in this blog, my kids are my top priority. I used to be able to give them the time they need, then get an hour or two of composing work done in the night or early morning before everyone else got up. But now, with about 10 hours of work, 4 hours of time with the kids, 90 minutes of back exercises, and 8 hours of sleep, there’s simply very little time or energy left for composing activities.

So, what is a composer to do when their health or other circumstances beyond their control get in the way?

I’ve been asking myself this question for the better part of year now. Even if I am able to free up another half hour in the day, I usually do not have the physical energy left for composing. Composing occupies the entire right and left hemispheres of the brain – it’s a very difficult process, that requires extreme focus and mental acuity. On most days, I just don’t have that focus any longer as I’ve spent so much energy getting through the workday and spending time with the kids.

One of things I’m trying, though, is to redefine my basic idea of being a composer. In the past, my primary focus was on writing new music, while marketing and networking were largely ignored. I'm now realizing that the act of composing is only part of the entire equation, the other important part is sharing the end product - the music - with others. Lately, I've been trying to focus more on getting my name out there - through this blog, on my website, and by writing articles for other music publications. These types of activities, though somewhat demanding, are much easier than writing new music, and they help move my career forward on some level.

Another thing that I’m trying to do – and I haven’t been doing a great job of it – is making new connections within the musical community. Attending recitals, looking for other musicians on social media sites, and sending materials to performers within the area are things that I can do that are not physically taxing and help broaden my network of performers that could collaborate with me in the future.

I’m also trying composing activities that help create new pieces without the demands of coming up with entirely new material. Currently, I’m expanding a piece for piano and baritone voice into a work for voice and orchestra. The orchestration requires a good deal of imagination, so it’s fulfilling, but the brain-drain is much less than creating something from scratch.

Along those same lines, I’m stealing excerpts from some of my other works, that can be expanded upon into new works. Right now, I’m creating a piece for solo contrabass derived from a funk line in one of my string orchestra pieces. I’ve found that varying existing material is something that doesn’t demand high levels of physical energy.

Eventually, I’m hoping that these stretches and exercises get me back to full health, so I can become a full fledged composer once again, but as in all other things in life, there are no guarantees.

With these approaches, I feel as though I’m doing something to move my career in the right direction, rather than wasting time and energy 'wishing things were different'. Sometimes I wonder if people spend too much time wishing things were different, rather than taking positive actions in their own lives to make changes for the better.

But that sounds like another blog entry, for another time.